when it beats.

2012-02-08T18:03:00.003+08:00

It seems like ages i did a proper entry.
New year had passed and so my physical training phase with the National Service.
It happened so fast, really fast. 6 months end quickly then i expected and when the date was getting nearer, i dreaded the part of parting with my new found friends and whom i so called named them as my 'family'. It was not easy living with all the same gender in a roof or a barrack if you must say so. Living with them was quite hard then expected but i certainly managed to pull through. It was not hard nor it was easy for all of us. The training may not have been like the others but adapting to a whole new life and was being controlled and planned by others definitely was not easy. For what it was, it was my best experience so far. I teared up while parting some of my bunk mates, it was not easy, to have build such a strong and rapid relation and mutual understanding between one is hard to let go. Ns31, it was the best and still the best. We broke the record.

Well, that is somehow part of my summary?
Definition of a family? I can easily ask Simsimi and it can reply me with all the wonderful and meaningful reply but what does that exactly means? If you have to ask, Simsimi is a applications for android phone and apparently everyone is crazy talking to this robot. It is designed to reply to words,phrases that is familiar. Everything is programmed and so are we.
More than often, i would ask myself if im am going too far with my actions and replies and i hate myself for that. But deep within myself i am found with another dilemma which triggers the past.
A son wish was for his dad to be there for him, just like how his dad is there for his other siblings.
Apparently that did not happened.
No matter how much i hope it gets better, it does not. What are family for when others keep pointing out your mistakes when you are merely stating a fact?
Listening to one side of the story and judge them has been a part of this so called family.
Financially, i am unstable, very unstable, i make use of what i have.
I do not have any luxurious treatments like how my others siblings received.
But it is okay, i do not blame anyone.
All i needed was for you to be there for me, to be proud of me for once.
To be there looking at me, the changes that i went through.
But no, you gave me hopes and yet you crushed it.
Later did i realised that i abandoned my very own feelings because of this very person, hence the retaliation began and so did the silent game.

But who gives a fuck anyway?
I need to pull myself and continue living cos no one is waiting for me. This world is cruel, cos at the very end of the day you need to continue walking but again i do not blame the world.

I do not get to spend much but that is okay. The one who wait will be rewarded.
And all i need is my mom,you and HIM blessing.
And so it is the quick story of how it goes.
Just remember this, if you are hurt then i am too.
If you cried, then i did too.

21-Jan-12

2012-01-21T03:08:00.000+08:00

*2trees and 07leaves.
Bd♥♥2,7.

21-Dec-11

2011-12-21T00:12:00.000+08:00

*2trees and 06leaves.
Bd♥♥2,6.

2011-11-24T22:12:00.001+08:00

I took a few steps backward. I could not make out the actual feeling that one has.
Often had i said it takes two to clap and things need to be done in vice versa.
Normally people think i am being ridiculous with my course of actions but have they thought about their lilttle actions that might be causing this? I do not like to be force into telling the things that i felt low about and etc, but i gave in. I often try to be as very understanding in any aspect of matters but what i had just realised was a limitation to myself. A technology over myself. Beat me dead down! Half a day gone and i gotten what i had been waiting. Comes a new day i see myself to be waiting again. How many times must the wait be there until anyone can see that it does no good. It brings out anxiousty in one, it worry us,it give us any kind of feeling that one can feel. But the point is, knowing a technology can make some happy, i felt embarassed of myself. A human with many crazy feelings easily got beaten down by a thing. I feel ashamed and small as i cant give a happiness that a technology can gives. It brought me down real hard. But yet again i am looking into every espect and try not to find faults with.
I am not sure but i am best to leave alone.

21-Nov-11

2011-11-21T00:00:00.001+08:00

*2trees and 05leaves.
Bd♥♥2,5.

21-Oct-11

2011-10-21T23:58:00.000+08:00

*2trees and 04leaves.
Bd♥♥2,4.

21-Sep-11

2011-09-21T00:04:00.000+08:00

*2trees and 03leaves.
Bd♥♥2,3.

2011-09-18T14:57:00.002+08:00

2011-09-12T21:47:00.002+08:00

Take it all. Yes,i am stil upset for what had happened. I thought it would be a surprise when you bought it but the surprise was a few days later. You can think or say or even tell about my flaws to them. I will still stand on my feet and stick with what i believe. I assume you would be trip if this happens to you, i have feelings too.

I wont wanna say much, but i want you to really think if i am wrong for the way i reacted. If you think its unfair or im wrong, then what about you? I have been trying to understand when it comes to you. And again,i just wanna tell you that i have feelings and i wanna be treated the equally like how you want me to when its you.

So he won't go,cant do on his own.
I often thought people gets even closer or treasure one another when they're far apart but its not happening to us. Well i care and i know you don't care too much. And no one would reacted or be feeling that way if you're nobody to them.

2011-09-06T22:31:00.000+08:00

I know you love my swagger.
I ever been in this road, it seems like there's no end beneath this. I wanna leave my footsteps on this sand, for them to atleast remember i was here. Maybe i'd made a difference to why there is differences in both. Perhaps being always the last to know hurts a little but nothing was as significant as your smile. Or maybe what everyone need is some time alone. I might be wrong so, don't make any judgement yet. This bitterness won't last long and patience is somewhere in my pocket. Healing your wound isin't easy but i insist on,somehow. Well, none of this makes sense. I guess everyone needs a lil hello.

2011-09-04T17:22:00.002+08:00

2011-08-24T23:23:00.000+08:00

To whom it may concern,

I know you would read and I wil take the chance to inform you this.
I am really hoping that you will get it when i say that i need to talk to you. I mean it,really.

Lots of love,
Dinie Jamz.

21-Aug-11

2011-08-21T14:16:00.001+08:00

*2trees and 02leaves.
Bd♥♥2,2.

21-Jul-11

2011-07-21T21:17:00.000+08:00

*2trees and 01leaves.
Bd♥♥2,1.

Counting Down The Days

2011-06-22T01:50:00.000+08:00

21-Jun-11

2011-06-21T23:47:00.000+08:00

*2trees and 0leaves.
Bd♥♥2,0.

2011-06-07T04:19:00.003+08:00

Dont lie,please.
I know whats going on and it's just a matter of time the two of you get caught.
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.
Going solo.

2011-06-01T02:00:00.003+08:00

".... Sial"
" Yang kau maki kenapa?"
"Aku nyer pasal uh!!"

Bottomline: Someone stop trying.
Its either we save it or let it drown.

21-May-11

2011-05-21T10:35:00.000+08:00

*1tree and 11leaves.
Bd♥♥1,11.

2011-05-10T01:51:00.000+08:00

Lifehouse- Everything

2011-04-30T04:34:00.001+08:00

can we start all over again? I really mean it.

21-Apr-11

2011-04-21T13:01:00.000+08:00

*1tree and 10leaves.
Bd♥♥1,10.

2011-04-10T07:07:00.000+08:00

2011-04-09T04:40:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i wonder, what went wrong?
What exactly did i do to make you feel this?
Why could you open up to others and not me?
Why would you even have the heart to keep things from me?
Why am i always the one hearing the lies and not just the truth?
There can be many questions lies up ahead but not a single one can be answered.
You know what you're hiding from me, so don't come to me and ask what could you have done this time round.
Answering a question to a question is never the key.
Some would say age is just a number, i would say age is just a word.
It is a word of an excuse for you to get away from anything.

To keep this as simple as it is, you had never trust me right from the start.
Thinking i am wrong? Cool yourself down and think thoroughly, if only you had put your trust on me like how you put on that someone. You would never keep things from me especially from that someone. Someone whom had just entered you life not long ago, and the world is all around you.
Butterflies makes the best out of a rainbow i suppose.
I am in no position to say all this. But i just wanna lay down the facts, the trust you have on me, is equivalent to a stranger pouring out his/her feelings to you.

I fell sick, damn sick right after that conversation we had .
Every seconds, i am falling weaker. This fever has just got to get worsen . Bleargh
My view? It was great, you came clean somehow but i felt hurt a bit.
It hurt me without realizing .

Pulling myself. I dont know why. But don't worry. This little boy needs some refreshment.

Bottom line : I never like the idea of being lied to or anyone that i sayang to keep things from me.

2011-04-04T02:13:00.002+08:00

Baby, i know for the past few days it somehow had been a rough time for us.
We argued a lot.
But one thing for sure and i just need you to know this.
I really sayang you, i mean it. I do. :)

2011-04-02T00:20:00.002+08:00

My sister, got engaged on the 19th March. Wow, earlier than expected and she was the first one in the family to tie the knot soon.

Currently, i am just rotting at home. I have a exciting news but i am not sure if i should share it, wanted to but oh well just say baby is busy.
School's gonna start about 2 weeks from now.
2 more months and then that's it i am done with school, for the time being.

I have no issue. But even if there is, i am just going to walk away from it.
Love , i don't think i will get in any relationship soon.
That's life, if the other party doesn't wants too, let it be.

Oh its the month of April already. Hoping it will be a great month of me and the rest.
Love you still.

2011-03-27T04:30:00.002+08:00

Deceiving on the person you claim that you love them?
Well that's utterly rubbish.
You say you care/love them but you misused the trust that they had given you.
Instead of making the relationship between the both of you stronger, you cheated behind them.
Well, this does not only happens to BGR but it also happens to a couple who is married to.
For example, they guy is engaged to the girl but yet he goes around fucking the rest and at the end of the day, he's married to the one he's cheated on. That is totally bullshit plus a plain dog to be precise.

No doubt, the girl didnt found out about it but you still have the decency to be with her. That poor animal. What exactly was her mistake to deserve all this? Oh , girls nowadays too cheat behind their man's back. What has becoming to the world?

Anyway, i still believe its a human nature's mistake somehow or rather but there has got to stop.
Trust, assurance. That's what everyone is asking for, i reckon.
Btw, sorry for ranting. I got so frustrated hearing or seeing when one of the party gets hurts due to this.

2011-03-22T14:44:00.001+08:00

*1tree and 9leaves.
Bd♥♥1,9.

21st. Had the best with you. :)

21-Feb-11

2011-02-21T00:12:00.002+08:00

*1tree and 8leaves.
Bd♥♥1,8.

2011-02-15T02:31:00.004+08:00

Trust. I need assurance.
Maybe. Looking forward to 23rd Feb then 25th Feb. Come quick.
But of course, ours too.

2011-02-11T04:37:00.001+08:00

You.

Truth be told.

2011-01-24T03:05:00.003+08:00

Previous entry was from baby.

There were few surprises i received when i got back in Singapore.

Had been busy with camps and work.

Sometimes, i just barely have time for myself.

I am getting darker every seconds but it is alright.

It is really blissful to have baby by my side every now and then.

After such a long time, i woke up right in front of face.

I have just one wish.

Never to let all this be a waste for the both of us.

Some things have changed but nothing will change the fact on how i feel about you.

Well, besides that. I have still the greatest bunch of people around me, well not all but a few.

No one knows what it likes to be me.

Thousands of emotions will suddenly come rushing within a blink of the eyes.

It doesn't mean when i am rude or i barely talk i' have change.

It is still me, it is inside me all along.

I am one of a stubborn ass.

I have a huge ego.

But i wouldn't say i am proud of it.

There's a lot of things that i need to buy.

Booties, waterproof bag,shoes,new clothings,new pants, new sandals, new shades and the list goes on.

The only thing i would want to do is.

To spent another gateway with baby and friends or perhaps just with baby alone.

1y7m.BD

21-Jan-11

2011-01-21T00:15:00.002+08:00

*1tree and 7leaves.
Bd♥♥1,7.

p/s: i miss u, i really do..

2010-12-31T03:03:00.003+08:00

2010 is coming to an end.

I don't have any resolutions, there are no meaning to it. A hope for the self-denials.

I think i am ditching all the plans i have.

If its possible, i would want to spent the very last seconds of 2010 with baby.

I didn't had the chance last year and i am hoping if i could have the chance this year.

I just want to sit next to you.

If not, i will just sit at home and rot to my very last and new seconds of the years. LOL

2010-12-27T00:48:00.003+08:00

And so.. I wont get to sleep next to you before the year ends. Oh well.

Anyway, i met a great new bunch of people.

I am now under Agape, a new direction.

It is something that i enjoyed besides being in a retail line.

Doing self reflection.

21-Dec-10

2010-12-21T17:42:00.000+08:00

*1tree and 6leaves.
Bd♥♥1,6.

2010-12-17T22:14:00.001+08:00

5,5 4sets.

2010-12-16T03:16:00.001+08:00

The only thing that is good about sex is, you totally forget your own fuck up life. But if only it is good.

4,4 & 5sets.

2010-12-15T04:37:00.001+08:00

If only i could hear those things you used to say.

3,3 & 6sets.

2010-12-10T04:19:00.002+08:00

You don't go around deciding on how things are suppose to work out and you dont get to choose how i feel...

God, please help me through this monday and tuesday.
1,1 & 11set.

Supposedly.

2010-12-09T05:23:00.000+08:00

In my dream.

2010-12-03T03:18:00.003+08:00

Archives.

It became a thought if i am still the guy whom you first met.

Don't get me wrong, i barely hear you saying those things that you used to say.

Sometimes i just feel that we are far apart now, i don't know. What ya think?

I miss on the times where you would just say you miss me n such even when we just parted our ways and etc.

I seriously do miss sleeping next to you. But then again..Youknowhatimean.

But of course that tree, is still growing.

2010-12-01T06:29:00.002+08:00

2010-11-23T02:35:00.000+08:00

Few hours to go.

Baby's gonna be back, hope you had fun.

Till then.

2010-11-20T23:58:00.003+08:00

PART ONE

Its midnight and i am pretty aimless this second.

You're on a trip while i am here.

Couldnt bother much as i think you should prolly know how much or badly i want to spent another holiday with you. But you couldnt care less.

Been missing the times where i could just hug you to sleep or to just wake up and to see your face first thing in the morning or to just make stupid jokes before heading to bed.

Waking up in the morning and to be found someone whom you really care a lot for, is to be found sleeping soundly around your arm. That very moment, it strikes to you that you really care for that someone and hoping that you wont loose that someone.

I would not say you're my everything, cos that just makes everything corny.

2010-11-17T05:21:00.002+08:00

How could you?

You just say all those mushy stuffs and never mean it.

Tell me, why..

Why am i your toyfriend?

2010-11-14T03:22:00.002+08:00

And when things goes wrong between the best friend and the lover. Its hard. Try saving both even if you never want to be in the middle cos it hurt badly both ways. Truly, it does.

P.s: I love you & I am sorry guys . xoxo

2010-11-10T02:01:00.002+08:00

Can we ever get back in track like before?

Honestly i miss us, i miss every single thing about us.

You know i need the truth even if you decide to go.

I need it.

2010-11-02T02:13:00.003+08:00

I may not see you as often as ever, but i have baby with me and that what matters most.

Nothing else.Bants.

2010-10-31T00:34:00.005+08:00

Play the song in urban.

It wont be called a new life as it will only last until 31st Dec.

My mind had a sudden twist and i needed someone to hear me out.

I tried reaching to you but only the week you keep mummed, opens a little new chapter for us.

If curiosity kills a cat, does dependency kills a relationship?

That only one's situation holds the answer.

On my side, i would kill an ant to get mine.Ifyaknowwhatimean b.

November is round the corner, and i cant wait for Deepavali.

That means, Shah Rukh Khan wannabes and the smell of 'jasmine flowers' lingers the whole town.

Lol

Baby, bite me real quick.

2010-10-03T05:06:00.002+08:00

It is raining.

I think i had too much of drinking.

Sometimes i am not sure of what to do, like things with you and me. You tell me.

My head has been a total bitch nowadays, i think too much.

I know where's my mistake and i know how much i blew it at your face but nothing is going to change the fact that we both are torn apart and i hurt you.

Here i am telling this that i am hurt, hurt from hurting you.

I am not asking for sympathy from you, but at least do help me with this.

Help me to walk this little path that i need to sort out, even if you cannot see the same like how you used to, help me out for the very last time.

I need that little 'push' like how you used to give me even when you know i have difficulties from picking up that little broken pieces.

I have mentioned, i will do anything just to make you happy even to the extend of leaving you.

You see, i am not close to being selfish just to gain my happiness. I need you to tell me what to do now, because things has been quite as hell as it can be. Honestly, after such a long period, i am losing my grip every seconds. I do not want to spent another 2- 3 years of living in denial and at the very end of the years to finally let go of things when i finally meet you. I do not want that to happen and even if it is going to cost me losing you, i will. Your happiness means so much to me, it really does. I value our friendship more than the love i have for you, i almost lost you and i do not want to go through it again. I do not mind losing the love i have for you, just for your happiness because i know being with me now, wont bring any happiness in you.

I want to see that eyes, the eyes who used to look at me with full of emotions. I know, i am just a stupid kid who does not knows how to think but that does not mean i do not want you to be happy.

I have done things i should not have done. I do not mind losing you as someone i love very much, but not to the extend of our friendship.

You say it yourself, we were not suppose to be this far but we did.

Your scent brought us closer and it grew inside me, alot.

Nothing will change the fact that it did.

Now tell me baby, what has got into us?

All i need now is for you to help me this bit because i am losing my grip.

2010-09-28T15:16:00.004+08:00

And now, what you used to think of me, thinking i could have the decency to think but instead i used it to hurt you. I really feel useless for not being able to make you believe or to at least trust me.

Sometimes i just wish if we could ever meet again one more time, to get to know each other one more time but it hurts so badly knowing the fact that it will never happen. Its never easy seeing you turning back but i have to take the pain and cry all the way home because i know it will never be the same. I have no intention in hurting you.

But standing here is what matters, learning from my mistakes or faults and to never let the history from repeating. Even if it hurts me really bad or i keep asking myself " why wasn't given any chance to learn my mistake just like any other selfless human beings?", i am still gonna stand here, for that. I just hope in time, you'll be happy as you call my name again.

"When you need me, you know where to find me"

2010-09-27T03:08:00.000+08:00

I never want things to be this way.''Baby, i am sorry."

2010-09-14T05:18:00.002+08:00

I have lost all the inspirations to keep up with things.

I just feel like throwing every single thing out from my life.

For some reason, i couldn't remember how my life was before you came.

I don't do ditching but this situation between us is doing us no good.

I felt heavy tonight, i need a drink to lighten me up but that's not something i need tho'.

I feel like leaving, but it is all too fuck up to leave.

I don't even understand why i am typing all this and I am not sure what's the purpose of this entry.

What's good? What's bad?

What's love between us?

What's me without you?

Why am i still typing?

I am crazy, i talk to myself.

I pretend that it is you.

My cellphone died on me, wait, your cellphone.No, this cellphone.

God, why on earth am i still typing?

What's new? What's old?

What's love between gays?

What's you with all this?

Why are you still reading?

Fuck me, I am famous.

Thank you, for shopping with us.

2010-09-07T21:53:00.001+08:00

Random.boh liao lahh.. LOL.

2010-09-04T02:30:00.003+08:00

Drifted apart.

Masked on.

That is about it, i do not think much neither do i think nonsensically but if you happened to notice that is what we are now.

Sundalism.

2010-09-03T03:17:00.001+08:00

If so it happens. I just hate it but that's life, after all.

2010-09-02T03:25:00.003+08:00

2010-08-30T03:38:00.005+08:00

Birthday passed, gotten my presents.

The best was from baby, a simple gift, baby's presence.

Baby was there when it strikes midnight, " You still have me.." said b.

That's all matter.

Somewhen we were here/ our voices uninterrupted/ our hands cold/ and regardless, we lived/ even if no one knows it/ we happened.

♥

2010-08-26T22:48:00.000+08:00

‎"That’s the problem with us. We’re both stubborn asses and always want to get our way. We both hate to be wrong and love to be right. But that’s the thing about love. No matter what happens, we always come back for each other, one more time."

-BoncitBantut.

2010-08-25T03:39:00.002+08:00

Reach me quick.

I cant find any better words to describe this but just, blank.

2010-08-23T21:56:00.003+08:00

Time, space.

I will give you every single of the time and space.

I will try to be less disturbance to you.

Do let me know when you're ready to let me irritate you once again.

And as for now, you should know that i am always here for you and i truly love you, bantut.!

P.s: Come back quickly.. :(

2010-08-23T15:19:00.002+08:00

As I was puffing away and at the same time walking in circles in the kitchen, I tried to put all my thoughts into one piece. The more I tried to analyze them, the more wisdom of thoughts flowing in my mind. It was like; you're fixing a jigsaw puzzle & out of nowhere, tonnes of other pieces threw at you to make it complete. I knew I got to hands on it, as to not lose those information that I had in my mind. Instantly, I switched on my computer again & the next thing I knew, I was blogging.

Things had been pretty much 'lovely' lately. Some, might be thinking i am just an idiot whose refuses to see certain things, but i will just stick to the part where i was pushed away to see things beneath its coldness.

Sometimes it doesn't paid to be the hero, and before things gets out of its way.

The rain had been so hard on me, it poured so much and to a certain extend it hurts when it touches my skin. I am not sure why but maybe I just couldn't bear myself to wear a raincoat.

I have an umbrella, a torn umbrella. Don't get me wrong, I am not stupid but I just prefer the torn ones, it can still be fix. I want to get it fix badly because a simple fix on it will make me dry.

All i see is some beautiful disaster, and I am hoping it wont go wrong because that's the last thing i want it to happen.

B, forgive me for my wrongdoings for these few days & forgive me too for not being able to see the same as you.

"Better to ask for forgiveness than permission."

& sometimes i just rather you explain it to me than to be in this way...

2010-08-08T02:26:00.003+08:00

YOG falls on the same day as my birthday.

Well, there's nothing to be happy about because apparently it's a fasting day too.

I am not sure what plans i have, but i am wishing it will be the same as the day it happened last year.

That moment when the clock strikes midnight, that birthday song, that moment.

I have a wish, for those whose in my life, never walk out from my life..

For all it was, i knew my 18th birthday were the best.

I had you at midnight..

And i hope i still have you...

2010-08-01T20:36:00.005+08:00

Honestly, i cant wait for this to be premier .

Based on my 'knowledge', the movie was written for Tom Cruise and for the fact that he had chosen to act out on ' Knight & Day' he couldn't do it for "SALT". Hence, Angelina Jolie here got the part but the producer simply had a twist or a change i shall say in the story.

Ultimately, Tom Cruise had to find her missing wife but since Angelina Jolie had gotten the part, you simply know what happened.. You cant be possibly asking or watching her to find for her missing wife too, it will make her a fucking lesbian. Okay thats besides the point, and i totally have no grudges or hatred against you lesbians.. Hot people aren't meant to be hated. Lol

Next will be this own Singapore Production.

HAUNTED CHANGI synopsis:

In January of 2010, a group of local filmmakers began exploring the famously haunted Old Changi Hospital in Singapore with terrifying and tragic results. This movie pieces together the original Haunted Changi film crew's footage to tell the full story.

They are having a press screening on the August 27 · 7:00pm - 9:00pm..

Just go to this link for more details.

http://hauntedchangi.com/trailer/

http://hauntedchangi.com/

Baby, you do know what this means right?

2010-07-29T13:44:00.003+08:00

Cases of the Ex.(Sleeping with your ex, Its you i am referring)

On the surface there's surely nothing better than sleeping with your ex. Not only does she know precisely what you want in bed (unless, of course, that's the reason you split in the first place), she also understands it's purely about sex, so the whole thing is totally free of any pesky relationship strings too! Right?

Er, wrong! No matter what you try to say, think or do, there's always a vast black cloud hovering over an ex-sex relationship: namely the fact that one of you dumped the other at some point in the not-so-distant past.

Unless by some miracle it was a mutual decision to go your separate ways, ex-sex inevitably arrives with a lorry load of meddlesome baggage.

Dealing with reality

In all likelihood, your ex-sex fling will place the 'dumper' in a position where they have more power within the rekindled relationship than the 'dumped'. Meanwhile, the dumped person will no doubt harbour all manner of psychological hang-ups, hurts and fleeting thoughts of revenge about the whole situation - not to mention the hope that this time it might be different.

If there's one golden rule for ex-sex it is to be honest about what you want from the outset. If you are sleeping with your ex purely for the sex, then she needs to know it. If, on the other hand, you're hoping to sweep her off her feet, she needs to know that too.

That way everyone's cards are on the table at the start, so if things do go wrong - which, given your personal baggage, is highly likely - it will not shatter either persons last remaining shred of self-esteem.

"Don't lose your honesty along with your trousers in the heat of the moment," advises relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr (www.drpam.co.uk).

Avoid the powder keg
Thankfully, this needn't involve a big sit down conversation under the glare of an FBI spotlight. With a little thought it should be possible to fix the ground rules without reducing what should be a fantastic moment to the romantic equivalent of crafting the Trivial Pursuit rulebook.

After all, what can be better than enjoying a purely physical relationship with your ex, if that's what you're both interested in? Nothing. Not even winning the lottery on the day your team bags the Champions League with an 8-0 victory over its local rivals.

The key is simply to be cautious and open about the reasons you're getting involved again, as ex-sex is a powder keg full of psychological angst, hurt and recrimination.

Look in the mirror

If you're already involved you need to look in the mirror and ask: am I doing this simply for sex or as a devious ploy to win her heart with some horizontal gymnastics? If it's the latter, then dump your hare-brained scheme in the bin. It will not work.

"Ex-sex is only ever a good thing when both people realise why they're doing it," adds Spurr. "If one is using the other for company and affection, because they're lonely after the break-up, it's likely to backfire spectacularly.

"During the moments they're in bed they'll feel loved, but once it's over and done with - and they're back on their own in their flat - it can intensify feelings of loneliness and loss."

What could go wrong - or right?
So what's the best solution? Well, sometimes ex-sex can provide a useful way for both people to dip their toe back into the relationship waters to see if there's actually anything still there.

At the same time it can allow both sides to share some tender moments and part on good terms with a string of happy memories once the affair runs out of steam. Or, it could result in the dumped person having to go through the whole process of having their heart broken again by the same person.

Alternatively, the dumper could find themselves on the end of a sharply delivered elbow through some twisted form of revenge, while the dumped person uses every ounce of guilt to make their life utter hell.

The truth is that because of your existing baggage the situation is highly volatile - not least because there must have been a good reason that you split up in the first place. So there really is no way of telling for sure.

Is it worth the risk?

One thing is certain: you'll have to do far more than perform in bed to rekindle things fully - if that's what you want. At the very least it'll involve expensive dates, presents, the occasional romantic weekend and just about every other shade of couple-based rigmarole you can think of.

So, ultimately, it boils down to the whether you are willing to take the risk, regardless of what you want to get out of it. But then, that same question applies to all affairs of the heart - whether ex-sex is involved or not.

In the mean time, check this out..

http://hauntedchangi.com/film/

Go on,...

2010-07-23T01:19:00.001+08:00

If ya are those who likes horror movies..

Then why not support local movies?

click this..

http://hauntedchangi.com/film/

2010-07-15T21:10:00.002+08:00

only a mule denies its family..

2010-07-06T05:48:00.000+08:00

2010-06-30T06:14:00.000+08:00

2010-06-25T05:10:00.002+08:00

The dorkiest BFF! Lets cut this short, i have always love you since, and will never stop.

Just so you know, i do hate you as much as i love you. Our friendship has far most gone beyond the meaning of itself and somehow i just wish if i am seating right next to you and gossiping and sharing new secrets during lessons. Nevertheless i do hope this friendship with you and the BFF Clans stay always. Thank you for being such a bimbo and i know no one else can replace me. =D

And i miss you, meet up soon biatch!

2010-06-22T03:36:00.003+08:00

i have lost, and i lost myself in the battle.

The tree that i wanted/needed badly to grow beautifully it came out otherwise..

No more leaves is falling apart..

Stranded in between of that tree..

2010-06-19T02:48:00.003+08:00

Make your move before I am gone. Because people change, and heart move on....

Meanwhile, i badly need to work but schedule is a bitch and company is always a bitch..

I want that shoes.=(

and to top it all, i can never be found busy nowdays.

i need to work to keep me busy and i surely do need another part time job.

sadded much.

That shoes, pants, t-shirts. saddening enough..

2010-06-11T03:44:00.003+08:00

Just as i ponder about love, it kind of creeps me now but it is not something that i am regretting it or anything like that. To see some having a huge major breakup and then the next moment later they are attached with someone else. If one promises to stand by your side as they both love each other then what happen to the promises that both vowed?

Do we just throw them aside once we found someone new or we try to make a full use out of it even there is no string attach?

It ponders me, what do others see in love, is it based on the countless of sex that one had, or to find the "rebound" as quickly as possible or to actually understand one when the other party is in mess and with that both are trying to pull everything back together?

And as for myself, i do not find myself to say those three mutherfucking words easily.

I mean, i can say it whenever i want to but it is matter of fact if those words were true.

I may not understand what love is or can define what is love but i will give my all to you if i am ever in love.

I can not deny that i am in love right now, hugely in love.

But I will never be selfish to love.

To love is something and to be love is everything.

If i am ever to be love, i am grateful but i will never hesitate to stop it if ever things were to be messy or the situation demands it. I am not someone who is selfish enough to hold you back just to gain my happiness.

My happiness plays a big part in yours.

I may react as if it is not a huge deal but if one ever wonder, it does.

Love is just not about those feelings i have for you, but it is something that i am/will willing to sacrifice for the trade of your happiness.

Some says, "A hungry man is an angry man."

and for me, "Your happiness is my love".

A possession is not something i want, but for you to stay in my life for a long time is a need.

We may not see each other that much, but a seconds with you is something i cherish most.

Do not take it as if this is a negative approach, i am telling you because i love you.

You are a part of my life even if you refuses to see it.

I have a huge need for us, but your smiles/laughters/happiness is just something i wish to own it because that is the reason why i am in love with you.

It is just you, you that i am in love with.

With that, i shall rest my case tonight and because i love you.

2010-06-06T03:56:00.002+08:00

Quite nervous.

Millions things are running through my mind.

Departing to KL at 9am, alone.

I am worried for almost every single thing on earth.

I dont know why but it will be great if you were to be there with me G(bantut).

And yes, just as i was about to tell you, you shot me with those remarks.

bleargh.!

Somehow, i am not looking forward to this but on the other side, i am.

Weird.

I am just a weird alien.

Oh well, hope things turn out great later on.

I love/like you still.

2010-06-03T03:04:00.001+08:00

& I won't ask for myself to be someone special in your life,I just wants myself to be always on your mind and heart,always. But i know, it can never happen even if i want to..

2010-06-01T06:00:00.001+08:00

is still the shit.!

I know you may not acknowledge this,

But i do love you bantut.

2010-05-22T04:50:00.003+08:00

That day had passed.

I doubt you noticed.

Its the second time, or maybe not.

11.

2010-05-20T01:15:00.003+08:00

This is super saddening..

The thought of what happened is worst...

I knew i should have not bother you or least having that intention to meet up with you but all i wanted was to pass you that stuff.

A thank you would be nice least appreciate it.

After three years of not doing my Napfa test, it was horrible and my whole entire body is aching with muscles cramps.

Well, bantut.. you just spoilt every single best moments of it. LOL

Apart from this cool weather, this headache and muscles cramp has got to leave, like seriously..

I can barely walk properly, but obviously i would not want to walk like an idiot, hence forcing is a good idea.

Till then, sayonara!

My love is waiting...

2010-05-16T12:31:00.001+08:00

A wonderful night with you.

There's nothing more i could ask, loves it.

its gun sneaking with the both of us.

2010-05-10T04:02:00.002+08:00

Night at the beach with you.

Awesome, frustrated, excited, content, clueless, love, loved, confused.....

I respect every single thing, and it was never a waste of my time.

Just so you know,

I love you too still...

And that is all i got for you,love.

-Bantut.

2010-04-29T04:16:00.002+08:00

I was this close having myself being hit by a car.

a close one, pretty much.

and Bantut, aku sayang kau and for some reason, i just miss you.

2010-04-26T09:17:00.002+08:00

intermission.

A day and a night with you, is that possible?

It is amazing when you feel a heartbeat and yes, we are not together.

For the record, i am not attach and i think there is no reason why i should be attach right?

If you think i am back with my ex lover, you are wrong.

We are just on a good terms and i have never even consider patching things up with my ex.

And i have yet to get ready for my 10am class, how wonderful.

Please make me high tonight.

2010-04-21T03:04:00.001+08:00

10th. goodbye.

2010-04-06T05:24:00.003+08:00

the water keeps on flowing while the song is repeatedly played.

the road seems to be quiet than usual, the wind is strong but i am suffocating inside.

i hear the alarms being switch on and i am stuck here.

i tried to talk but it would not open.

a place that is called city, but all i can see is the woods.

i hailed a cab but came a deer.

i was left stranded alone.

you saw me yet you kept a distance.

i cried yet i am being ignore.

when you said you be there for me i believed you, but now it is proven that it was just a dream.

indeed it was my dream.

2010-04-04T03:41:00.002+08:00

to some, it was already a bruise.

within a glimpse, it had passed.

a sleeping man was awaken by a text, one's life had ended and came sadness into another's life.

a picture is captured, not to hold but a chance to keep permanently. thank you, for the chance to meet with you and to share little bits of worth memories and farewell with hopes you will do fine there somewhere.

mew, an adorable cat which many likes to see.

and i bet mew did certainly made an impact to one's life.

things looked shocking to me, when news came that you left.

but nevertheless, i am praying hard for you.

not the whole entire populations may feel what's the owner is feeling, neither do i.

but, all i wish is a better place for him and may this sadness replace you with something else.

Amin

2010-03-31T05:53:00.005+08:00

phuket is over.

sadded much but we all sure do have lotsa fun to it.

it was one of the best experience so far, and i am looking forward to the next one with you guys.once again, i sure do have alot of fun and hopefully, if there were to be a next trip i want to have the same roomate again in phuket.hahaha

things have been great despite the facts that i am getting darker every seconds of my life.

i shall stop complaining and start mesmerising the fun i had because that wouldnt defeats the purpose of a true gateway.

And even so, i do have some difficulties letting go on a certain part, i should just see it as an experience and smile...

More often than not, you fall in love with a person you can't really have, while the one who truly loves you remains either a friend or a stranger. And i would never regret on anything i set my eyes on.

2010-03-20T03:03:00.002+08:00

i am lost.

i tried finding my ways but i just could not move anymore.

here i am, pleading to you..

with all due much of respect, just do it cos you know that you want it and because i am falling.

attachment at suntec city later on, cant wait for work to end at 4pm and to welcome that whole week of gateway.

head is full of questions and you seem to be the answer.maybe.

2010-03-18T03:44:00.002+08:00

the question is, does it really bothers me that much?

not that i thought of.

something triggered me today, and if it so happens i will try to smile and just walk away.

i can never blame anyone for reminiscing the mementos that one ever had, but obviously it will be too much when you are trying to put those mementos upfront. Hold on a moment, i still do respect it, and i am okay with the ideas but it somehow does concern me someway or another.

it brings me to a point where i can never conclude what one needs or wants.

Is it the sensual desire or is it the matter of heart is concern?

the truth hides beneath the words, and baby i caught ya.

exactly, Four more friggin days. Before that, i am waiting to pick up the leaves.

And that bantut, is still hiding somewhere in that coconut tree cutting of the eyelashes.

2010-03-04T04:01:00.002+08:00

something interesting.

this lady over here, made a boob enlargement just to taunt her ex boyfriend who jilted her for having a "bad figure."

i truly admire her sense of bravery for the act of "revenge" to her ex boyfriend, but the fact that she posted online and somehow or another revealed to the public eyes. it is ridiculous, you are giving others the chance to learn that "yours" is artificial. You do not need to let the whole world know that the "revenge" is done and you are proud of it.

Girl, have some sense of dignity and even if it is not for yourself, do it for the sake of your parents and family.

And, hell yeah congratulations for having a replacement of your AA-cup size to a C-cup size.

and i would like to have a medium coke please. hahahah

on the other side of the note, honestly i am clueless myself.

i am not sure of whats the changes is like or what it is turning into.

but i do hope it is something genuine and sincere because i have been longing one.

2010-03-03T04:56:00.002+08:00

you see, the thing is. i dont give a damn if you seriously hate the dance or anything like that.

i have nothing against that. But please, to those who wished to inter-frame, look at yourself or wait start observing your middle class brains. Seriously, i have nothing against those who wishes to condemn the dance or my style of dancing. The fact that i am pissed about is, the attitude or shall i say someone's attitude. oh wait, call me a loser for posting some random facts in facebook about a little girl who thinks she owns everything . Oh hell yeah i am a loser, my dancing sucks, i sucks, yeap that is it.

But wait, i do not go around and tell lies or create stories to make my pathetic life interesting.

the fact that those who ever did it or been there with me, refuses to admit, what else can i say?

i can just bloody have a good laugh at them. Come on guys, you know yourself better that whatever history between the both of us had, were true. Stop denying and making it as if you had not been a past in my life ever.

Honestly, why on earth would i want to create stories and be telling you? Wont i look like an idiot much? believe me, its you that i am laughing at. You can start believing in me,you can throw the trust you had in me, but let me tell you something. "The mouth deceives your brain, but the eyes deceives you."

Dont get what i mean?

simple idiot you are, you chose to believe your friend that you asked but stupidly you forgotten to ask me or others around you like my friends.=)

i do have things which can make you "oh la la"..

trust me, i do.

and oh, if anyone single of you do have issues with me do not hesitate, i repeat do not hesitate to ask for my number or just inform me that you would want to meet me.

i dont find it as a threaten since i am the one who is telling the truth and not the lies.=)

and yes, i do have issues with my language, i cant seem to stop throwing vulgarities when i am mad, and do not make it as if you never ever did that.hahah what a kiddo you are.

just for the record, you and me we both are two face muthufakcers!

p.s: b bantut is sayang much.

2010-02-23T06:36:00.004+08:00

just as i was browsing through stomp.com.sg.

i saw this headline, about this pastor humiliating or making insensitive comments on homosexuals in singapore.

"In an 80-minute clip posted on a video-sharing website, the pastor portrayed gay people as 'sad pathological creatures with dysfunctional families, victims of sexual abuse, abusers of drugs and alcohol, insecure and possessive individuals'.

He also equated homosexuality with paedophilia and bestiality."

homosexuals are sad pathological creatures with dysfunctional families?

to top it on, a user in www.stomp.com.sg actually had a forum on this,

"This Thread is meant to Support Pastor Rony Tan for his stance on homosexuality"

comments were given by some of the users,

"Originally Posted by WinterSoldier84

This is true. Homosexuality is unnatural. Its like having intercourse with an animal... YUCK!"

"Originally Posted by EyeofHurricane

If we accept homosexuality, the young will just grow up thinking it is ok. We must tell them it is not right. As in crimes. We cannot accept crimes."

everyone has a different perceptions in ways which one could not argue.

But, comments being made on these homosexuals is stupid.

why judge on the whole lot of them just because you had encounter something bad with one person.

homosexuals are human beings, they have the same feelings like any other straight people has.

they are not a threat to the community and they are not a nuisance, but for the fact that some in the whole lot of the homosexuals community, they are "loud and are open up to the public". And yes, it may be a disturbance to some part of the community in singapore, but for all you know, the one that you are dissing making insensitive comments on , may be the person who had just hired you for a job or even be the one helping you out when you are in need. What about those nuisance to our community, and wait i am referring to those STRAIGHT people. they do to create a whole lot of a problem to our community? but why those homosexuals are being diss?

do homosexuals in singapore is really a big disgrace to the community?

are they not even a single help to the community?

or are they just a rubbish to the community?

and on the other hand, i cant wait for my phuket trip. bantut is adore much.

2010-02-09T03:14:00.002+08:00

there's plenty more, why should you even bother waiting?

or are you just waiting for the one to initiate every single thing?

it gets to my nerve hearing all that.

i am walking on the grass, but to see the other side of the roots made me feel somehow or rather newly new.

sometimes, it makes me wonder if those kicks were just an excitation that gets the better of you.

with words being manipulated at times, it does not even ring a bell to me.

every measure kept me thinking if should there be any disruptions.

obviously, i would not want my feet to be smutty.

but then again, finding a posy is easy but to get hold of one is another controversy.

nevertheless, i cannot wait for march to come along.

i shall be gone to distant my mind, but a gateway is the word.

in the mean time, lets keep myself busy with work,work,work and school and dance and not forgetting my incredible b bantut!

a months time, and i hear myself screaming phuket!

and i shall proudly say,

I IS SAYANG MY B BANTUT!

but i am hoping it would not get cliche.

2010-01-10T20:21:00.004+08:00

the history.

it has always been a big impact in our life.

judgement has been made, and yet you are still there like a deer.

we kept crawling back to the forest once in awhile but the feeling of heartache only starts to grow deeper as we both gets closer.

soon enough we were never strong enough to hold the gun in our hands, despite the hatred that one have on each individuality.

single drop of tears, and nothing can change the footsteps i hear.

every victim is a prey but a sincere heart is a pray.

bullets pass and i wish you the best.

i am leaving you, and the past behind us.

because it is not worth keeping a past that only holds the lies.

2010-01-06T15:54:00.003+08:00

you build the lusts,

i build the loathes, and who build the US??

2009-12-29T05:27:00.007+08:00

came across this which i decided to take a little bit of my time to do this.

"Why am i afraid to lose you when you're not even mine ?" -wawa

2009-12-27T05:56:00.002+08:00

"U r very honest n understanding person. "

i am still not sure of why you said that.

well, like i have said we are still friends and i already have someone in my heart.

and that someone have already stolen my heart.

that explains everything.

well dylies, are doing fine.

but sure we are doing a comeback soon the main ones obviously.

you quaks may hit down the road with a sinage "imma quak and a dumb freak asshole."

2009 is ending, and i wish the past is real.

to feel you, i hope 2010 might be a better pace for us.

b bantut, is still here somewhere and most probably is hidden in a coconut tree while sucking the thumb.

hehehehe

i hereby, declare..

I SAYANG MY B BANTUT RABAK TO MAX WITH THE IPOD PLAYING ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS 2!!

2009-12-21T03:19:00.002+08:00

it sucks to have that feeling.

the feeling of you finding things that weren't meant to be shared.

yes, the truth do hurts a lot but they do help us in a lot of ways.

and so i am telling you this, do what you want to do and just keep it low.

i do not want to know anymore because i aint no fool like you think i am.

do me a huge favour, kill yourself and just leave me quick.

its half a year already.blearghh..

i think i am going to barf.

Lol

2009-12-09T05:21:00.000+08:00

i tried but to no avail.

i just cant simply put myself to bed.

come back soon alright.

how about i somehow find this feeling of mine to be a little bit indulgent.

say, it is late in the morning and you have been keeping yourself busy to ensure that the time pass by fast.

and to your surprise, your cellphone rang and obviously you would be wishing that the sender/caller would be the person you have been waiting for.

you grabbed your cellphone at that very instance, to have a confirmation on who it was and within seconds, came along this huge feelings/emotions arousing yourself.

if you were to video yourself during that moment, you probably would not realised that you were smiling all alone like a pathetic moron for a good five minutes or even worst, talking to yourself.

i may have not say anything sensible here but it is sure one of the feelings which i cant resist from bantut.

anyways, i personally find having this feeling to be very interesting.

thoughts for the day,

"if you were to trust him,he would probably trust you back..."

what is your take on that?

come back,i miss you... :(

2009-12-07T22:08:00.002+08:00

you are so near yet so far away..
i cant really feel your touch and presence for now..
i am starting to miss you alot.
i am hoping days will pass by soon.
b,come back soon.. :(

i really do miss you alot.

I IS MISS YOU BANTUT! :(